chicken legs...for uncle randy...

baby burrito

first bath

...in random order...

more of our little "king of poop"...

again, pictures loaded backwards and can't seem to move them around...

go from last to first if it bothers you...

short video clip at the bottom...just ignore commentary from mommy...

happy birthday, jackson!!!

jackson avery miller

6 pounds, 10 ounces

19 inches

1:11 am

august 29th, 2009

(yes, michael jackson's birthday...how unluckily coincidental)

the pictures ended up in a backwards order...and i can't seem to move them around...so, go back and look from the last picture to the first if you would like to view them chronologically.

he's never coming out...

last one, mom...then you'll have to come see for yourself...38 weeks.

decided to put the carseat base in the car...wanted to prove to little j that, yes, we are ready for you!!! see??? we are responsible parents who are completely capable of bringing you home safely.

spent an hour on the living room floor trying to figure out how the darn thing works...started crying because i thought i would never get to have a carseat in my house...and here it was...in my house just waiting for a baby...continued to cry because i thought i would never figure out how to change the 5-point harness system when he gets a bit bigger...decided to cross that bridge when forced to...why borrow trouble?



see lucy in the top right corner...peering around the coffee table at yet ANOTHER foreign object that is invading her space??? she's careful to stay away from all things baby...we'll see how long that lasts...

i am convinced that he's never coming out. never. labor...do you see it coming??? or does it just hit...one minute you're just feeling walrus-like and tired...the next you're experiencing gut-ripping pain??? you would think that after waiting for this baby for 3 and 1/2 years i would be a patient person. i. am. not.

just say no?!!

in response to comments left on previous blog entry:

okay, formerly pregnant ladies...lots of excuses. i guess i should at least thank you for telling me that i can refuse to be checked...i can do that?!! i can tell her that she's not allowed to check me?!! i'm gonna try that next week. i'll let you know...i'm not very good at being a difficult patient...speaking up for myself...guess i better learn. note to self: say no to cervical dialation checks before labor actually begins, say no to stripping of membranes (that SOUNDS painful!!!), say no to breaking of water. thanks girls!!! now, your assignment is to tell me what i should pack for the hospital...what are the hospital "musts"??? and for those of you who birth at home...pretend like you HAVE to go to the hospital...what would you want to have with you???

finished jackson's room today. (sidenote: not sure that is his official name...just like calling him something other than "what's his name") here are a few pictures...okay, a lot of pictures:

for mom...

34 weeks...

36 weeks...

ever felt like one of those bugs that gets stuck on its back and cannot get itself turned back over??? i feel like that most of the time now...a bug on its back that cannot breathe.

had a doctor's appointment today...and i must say that i'm SOOOO mad at every pregnant person i've ever known who did not WARN ME that when a doctor says she wants to check your cervix that it's going to feel THAT BAD!!! SOOOOO mad at all of you!!!

31 days!!!!!!

will post pictures of baby's room soon...not quite done yet...

baby bedding arrived this morning...few pictures...SOOO CUTE!!!

button, button, who's got my button???

30 weeks today...belly button slowly disappearing...rather disappointing...thought i would feel better when it finally went away...like unbuttoning your pants after you've eaten too much.

"what's his name" kicks all the time...heard a good, strong heartbeat yesterday...like my new doctor...she called me "sweetie pie" about a hundred times. :-) i think her "coddling" approach will suit me just fine during delivery...question is...will she be the one to deliver???

wake up early every morning worrying about how i'm going to feed "what's his name"...had a dream that i couldn't get him to take breast or bottle, so i fed him green beans. also worried about how much powder to use, how to take care of a circumcision, how many times he'll pee on me, and if i'll break him when i give him his first bath.

his room isn't quite ready...made most purchases...don't have a crib or changing table...hopefully will get those next week. his room smells like "baby"...LOVE IT!!! can't stop going in there to sniff...baby powder and baby magic...YUM!!! will post pictures when it's ready...

the above pictures aren't very good...i think i look more pregnant than they show...will try to get better ones...

TEN more weeks...cannot believe it!!! hopefully we'll have a name by then and can stop calling him "what's his name"...

BTW...we're back in SC...slowly settling back in...not sure how long we'll be here...depends on matt's job situation...which is completely up in the air...i would worry about that, but i'm just too darn happy to let that uncertainty bother me. God knows...so i don't have to...

baby bump...or fat...

i prefer to think of it as a baby bump...

many of you have been asking for a picture of my growing mid-section...

here it is...about 21 weeks...

my husband...the criminal

i had the day off today and decided that i would go have lunch with matt. when i got to the job site, he wasn't there. friends told me that he'd been arrested about 20 minutes ago. i inquired...read "yelled at the top of my lungs"..."what the heck did he do???" they didn't know...two police officers just showed up with a warrant for his arrest...cuffed him...and drove off. hmm...guess he hadn't been offered his phone call because i certainly was in the dark as to what was going on. i'm thinking..."they're lying. no way." and that's when they offered me photographic evidence...the picture above. so, now i'm searching my mind for any horrible thing he could have possibly done...if you know matt, the list was NOT short. ***insert smile here***

they kept up the ruse for another 10 minutes and FINALLY told me that it was for a charity event...cancer society or something...someone could pay to have you arrested and then you had to pay "bail" to get "out" of "jail". one of matt's underlings thought of pulling this prank himself...he was warned...read "told of the dire consequences he could expect if he did this"...and decided to put someone else up to it. one of the contractors that matt's been working with took the dirty deed upon herself...paid to have matt arrested...and ended up getting arrested herself.

matt's bail: $40
her bail: $450
payback: priceless

it's a...

BOY!!!

...and here's the proof!!!

during the ultrasound, he was enjoying a good "scratch" and matt's comment was, "that's my boy!"

looking a bit like a jack-o-lantern...cutest jack-o-lantern i've ever seen!!!




itty-bitty feet...ACTIVE itty-bitty feet...i love, love, love feeling him move around!!! he's found mom's bladder...his favorite thing to kick around...future soccer player, i guess...dad is so excited!

we're halfway through and so excited to meet our little mister!!!

A-MAZING!!!

ultrasound pictures...

the first...the oval shaped thing is the egg sack...

the second...sort of looks like a squirrel to me...

the third...the round shape at the bottom is the head...the candy corn shaped thing on top of that is the body...all the other non-descript things are arms and legs...

stop me if you've heard this one...

• i've been trying for weeks to figure out how to tell this story...it's the second most amazing story of my life (the most amazing being the story of my salvation) and i want to do it (and it's Author) justice...i'll just preface it by saying TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

• here's the story...if you've heard it...just skip ahead...or read it and hear it again...because it's really good... :-)

• week of december 15th: i call my IVF nurse to schedule additional testing (glucose tolerance and endometrial biopsy) recommended by doctor...my doctor wanted to check a few things out before proceeding with FET (frozen embryo transfer)...what WE planned to do next...transfer the 2 embryos that we had frozen after the failed IVF cycle. we get the tests scheduled...i mention that i'm "late"...4-5 days at this point...and the nurse assures me that it's probably due to the ENORMOUS amounts of hormones injected/ingested the previous month...i mean really, what are the odds that i'm pregnant?! the nurse wants to/needs to do a blood pregnancy test to "be sure"...tests would obviously be unnecessary (and dangerous) if pregnant...but again, what are the odds?!!

• december 19th: i start to feel sick...like i'm getting the flu.

• december 22: still not feeling great...but i decide that going to disney world is a good idea...katie has a friend who works at epcot...her friend offers us FREE tickets to disney...and who can pass up FREE disney??? we ride space mountain twice, big thunder mountain once....among many other rides. by the end of day...i'm feeling LOUSY!!!

• december 23: i go in for the blood pregnancy and glucose tests in the morning...then return later for the biopsy in the afternoon. i drink the nasty orange syrup for the glucose test...a nurse draws blood for the pregnancy test. wait...wait...wait...by this time...i'm feeling like i want to die! i blame my queasy-ness on the orange nastiness i drank for the glucose test. i go back for the biopsy that afternoon...i tell the nurses that i'm not feeling well...i ask them to hurry things (the doctor) up a bit, if you please...PLEASE. i'm assured that doctor is on his way. (btw, i grill every nurse who comes into the exam room to check on me...am i pregnant??? none of them will answer me.) the doctor comes in...he asks how i'm feeling..."lousy" is my immediate response. i ask, "is it normal to feel lousy if you're late?" the doctor responds..."it's normal if you're pregnant." hahaha...you're hilarious. "you're pregnant," he repeats. i feel like i'm not really there...sort of like i'm floating around in a dream that's mine, but not. finally i come to some sort of sense/coherent thought...WHAT!?? no, not possible. he shows me the blood pregnancy test results. i'm almost positive that he's about to say..."the number is high...too high...so something is wrong." but he doesn't. so i ask, "could that high number mean something else? what's wrong with me?" he replies, "nothing is wrong with you. you're pregnant." and at that point i must have given him a look of "prove it!"...because he decided to do an ultrasound...and there it is...a tiny egg sack...no visible baby, but it's there and it's exactly where it should be.

• i'm pregnant. i'm pregnant? i'm pregnant?!! i'm pregnant!!!!!! WHAT?!!?!!?!!?!! that was the extent of my thought process...i don't think i had another coherent thought for a week...i got stuck on that word..."pregnant"...and how it connected with the word "i'm". unbelievable.

• and now came the tricky part. when i went into the doctor's office, i left katie waiting for me in the car...sleeping off her disney hang-over. i had to go out there, get in the car, and pretend like i had just had a very painful biopsy. i must say i have pretty good acting skills...because she later told me she had no idea i had just received the most incredible news of my life...that i'd just heard the words i'd waited to hear for 3 1/2 years.

• all plans of how exactly i'd tell matt went right out of mind...when we got home, i pulled him into our bedroom and "word vomited" the news all over him. i don't think he immediately believed me...i don't think he believed me until our second ultrasound two weeks later...when he saw an actual baby in the egg sack...and i told him about hearing the heartbeat...AND the doctor assured us that this one looked like a keeper.

• and then we told everyone...WAY too early...but ya'll needed to know...ya'll needed to know that your prayers and ours had been answered...ya'll needed to know what kind of a God we love so dearly...a God who is so GOOD...a God who works all things together for our good...a God who loves us so fiercely that He'll bring us through the fire of discipline and trial to refine our character...all because He loves us. infertility...and all the pain and suffering that came with it...was His blessing for me...was His love for me...and i can truly say that i'm thankful for it...because i don't think i'd appreciate this amazing and undeserved answer to prayer as much if i hadn't gone through it all...ALL of it...THANK YOU, GOD!!!

• i can't wait to fully get my mind around what God has done for us...i have so much more i want to tell ya'll...about what i've learned. i need more process time, but i will share soon...if you're interested...

• i had my first OB visit yesterday...was so nervous all day...just wanted to hear that heartbeat...the precious thump, thump, thump...my favorite sound in the whole world...but didn't think it was possible without doing an internal ultrasound and since i've already had two of those i didn't think the doctor would think another one was necessary at this time. but apparently he wanted to do his own measurements...YAY! i got to see the baby doing backflips...wish i could feel it!!! little heartbeat going like crazy...AMAZING!!! all looked good. this doctor thinks i'm actually 11 weeks instead of 10...whatever...the sooner i reach 40 weeks the better...i want that baby in my arms! he changed my due date from august 25th to august 20th. he also reassured me that space mountain didn't scramble the baby's brain...because he/she didn't really have one yet...good to know.