A-MAZING!!!

ultrasound pictures...

the first...the oval shaped thing is the egg sack...

the second...sort of looks like a squirrel to me...

the third...the round shape at the bottom is the head...the candy corn shaped thing on top of that is the body...all the other non-descript things are arms and legs...

stop me if you've heard this one...

• i've been trying for weeks to figure out how to tell this story...it's the second most amazing story of my life (the most amazing being the story of my salvation) and i want to do it (and it's Author) justice...i'll just preface it by saying TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

• here's the story...if you've heard it...just skip ahead...or read it and hear it again...because it's really good... :-)

• week of december 15th: i call my IVF nurse to schedule additional testing (glucose tolerance and endometrial biopsy) recommended by doctor...my doctor wanted to check a few things out before proceeding with FET (frozen embryo transfer)...what WE planned to do next...transfer the 2 embryos that we had frozen after the failed IVF cycle. we get the tests scheduled...i mention that i'm "late"...4-5 days at this point...and the nurse assures me that it's probably due to the ENORMOUS amounts of hormones injected/ingested the previous month...i mean really, what are the odds that i'm pregnant?! the nurse wants to/needs to do a blood pregnancy test to "be sure"...tests would obviously be unnecessary (and dangerous) if pregnant...but again, what are the odds?!!

• december 19th: i start to feel sick...like i'm getting the flu.

• december 22: still not feeling great...but i decide that going to disney world is a good idea...katie has a friend who works at epcot...her friend offers us FREE tickets to disney...and who can pass up FREE disney??? we ride space mountain twice, big thunder mountain once....among many other rides. by the end of day...i'm feeling LOUSY!!!

• december 23: i go in for the blood pregnancy and glucose tests in the morning...then return later for the biopsy in the afternoon. i drink the nasty orange syrup for the glucose test...a nurse draws blood for the pregnancy test. wait...wait...wait...by this time...i'm feeling like i want to die! i blame my queasy-ness on the orange nastiness i drank for the glucose test. i go back for the biopsy that afternoon...i tell the nurses that i'm not feeling well...i ask them to hurry things (the doctor) up a bit, if you please...PLEASE. i'm assured that doctor is on his way. (btw, i grill every nurse who comes into the exam room to check on me...am i pregnant??? none of them will answer me.) the doctor comes in...he asks how i'm feeling..."lousy" is my immediate response. i ask, "is it normal to feel lousy if you're late?" the doctor responds..."it's normal if you're pregnant." hahaha...you're hilarious. "you're pregnant," he repeats. i feel like i'm not really there...sort of like i'm floating around in a dream that's mine, but not. finally i come to some sort of sense/coherent thought...WHAT!?? no, not possible. he shows me the blood pregnancy test results. i'm almost positive that he's about to say..."the number is high...too high...so something is wrong." but he doesn't. so i ask, "could that high number mean something else? what's wrong with me?" he replies, "nothing is wrong with you. you're pregnant." and at that point i must have given him a look of "prove it!"...because he decided to do an ultrasound...and there it is...a tiny egg sack...no visible baby, but it's there and it's exactly where it should be.

• i'm pregnant. i'm pregnant? i'm pregnant?!! i'm pregnant!!!!!! WHAT?!!?!!?!!?!! that was the extent of my thought process...i don't think i had another coherent thought for a week...i got stuck on that word..."pregnant"...and how it connected with the word "i'm". unbelievable.

• and now came the tricky part. when i went into the doctor's office, i left katie waiting for me in the car...sleeping off her disney hang-over. i had to go out there, get in the car, and pretend like i had just had a very painful biopsy. i must say i have pretty good acting skills...because she later told me she had no idea i had just received the most incredible news of my life...that i'd just heard the words i'd waited to hear for 3 1/2 years.

• all plans of how exactly i'd tell matt went right out of mind...when we got home, i pulled him into our bedroom and "word vomited" the news all over him. i don't think he immediately believed me...i don't think he believed me until our second ultrasound two weeks later...when he saw an actual baby in the egg sack...and i told him about hearing the heartbeat...AND the doctor assured us that this one looked like a keeper.

• and then we told everyone...WAY too early...but ya'll needed to know...ya'll needed to know that your prayers and ours had been answered...ya'll needed to know what kind of a God we love so dearly...a God who is so GOOD...a God who works all things together for our good...a God who loves us so fiercely that He'll bring us through the fire of discipline and trial to refine our character...all because He loves us. infertility...and all the pain and suffering that came with it...was His blessing for me...was His love for me...and i can truly say that i'm thankful for it...because i don't think i'd appreciate this amazing and undeserved answer to prayer as much if i hadn't gone through it all...ALL of it...THANK YOU, GOD!!!

• i can't wait to fully get my mind around what God has done for us...i have so much more i want to tell ya'll...about what i've learned. i need more process time, but i will share soon...if you're interested...

• i had my first OB visit yesterday...was so nervous all day...just wanted to hear that heartbeat...the precious thump, thump, thump...my favorite sound in the whole world...but didn't think it was possible without doing an internal ultrasound and since i've already had two of those i didn't think the doctor would think another one was necessary at this time. but apparently he wanted to do his own measurements...YAY! i got to see the baby doing backflips...wish i could feel it!!! little heartbeat going like crazy...AMAZING!!! all looked good. this doctor thinks i'm actually 11 weeks instead of 10...whatever...the sooner i reach 40 weeks the better...i want that baby in my arms! he changed my due date from august 25th to august 20th. he also reassured me that space mountain didn't scramble the baby's brain...because he/she didn't really have one yet...good to know.